BODY LANGUAGE - ALLAN PEASE Part 3 pot

SHAKING HANDS

Shaking hands is a relic of the caveman era. Whenever cavemen met, they would

hold their arms in the air with their palms exposed to show that no weapons were being

held or concealed. This palms-in-air gesture became modified over the centuries and

such gestures as the palm raised in the air, the palm over the heart and numerous other

variations developed. The modern form of this ancient greeting ritual is the interlocking

and shaking of the palms which, in most English-speaking countries, is performed both

on initial greeting and on departure. The hands are normally pumped five to seven

times.

Dominant and Submissive Handshakes

Considering what has already been said about the impact of a command given in

both the palm-up and palm-down positions, let us explore the relevance of these two

palm positions in hand shaking.

Assume that you have just met someone for the first time and you greet each other

with a customary handshake. One of three basic attitudes is transmitted through the

handshake. These are dominance: ‘This person is trying to dominate me. I’d better be

cautious’, submission: ‘I can dominate this person. He will do as I wish’, and equality:

‘I like this person. We will get on well together’.

These attitudes are transmitted unconsciously and, with practice and conscious

application, the following hand shaking techniques can have an immediate effect on the

outcome of a face-to-face encounter with another person. The information in this

chapter represents one of the few documented studies of handshake control techniques.

Dominance is transmitted by turning your hand (dark shirt sleeve) so that your palm

faces down in the handshake (Figure 20). Your palm need not be facing the floor

directly, but should be facing downwards in relation to the other person’s palm and this

tells him that you wish to take control in the encounter that follows. Studies of fifty-four

successful senior management people have revealed that not only did forty-two initiate

the handshake, but they also used dominant handshake control.

Just as the dog shows submission by rolling on its back and exposing its throat to

the victor, so the human uses the palm-up gesture to show submission to others. The

reverse of the dominant handshake is to offer your hand with your palm facing upwards

(Figure 21). This is particularly effective when you want to give the other person

control or allow him to feel that he is in command of the situation.

However, though the palm-up handshake can show a submissive attitude, there may

be mitigating circumstances to consider. For example, a person who has arthritis in the

hands will be forced to give you a limp handshake because of his condition and this

makes it easy to turn his palm into, the submissive position. People who use their hands

in their profession, such as surgeons, artists and musicians, may also give a limp

handshake purely to protect their hands. The gestures that follow the handshake will

give further clues for your assessment of that person – the submissive person will use

submissive gestures and the dominant person will use more aggressive gestures.

When two dominant people shake hands, a symbolic struggle takes place as each

person tries to turn the other’s palm into the submissive position. The result is a

vice-like hand shake with both palms remaining in the vertical position as each person

transmits a feeling of respect and rapport to the other (Figure 22). This vice-like vertical